Blame and Blaming Others
Warwickshire UK Help
Blame and blaming other people or events for your current situation, may in the short term make you feel happier but in the long term it is a very destructive frame or state to be in. It is after all a lot easer than accepting and putting things right by you doing something or changing something.
When you blame others you are handing over power to the person or thing and making yourself weaker and even more of a victim. Being a victim is not a pleasant thing to be as it tends to attract more attacks and attention from those who feed on them, it is also a very unattractive thing, or person to be around.
In NLP it is called a problem frame and here we have a blame frame, and this sets limits on your thinking and creativity, you can get stuck in it and unable to think your way out.
When you switch to a outcome frame and begin to ask questions like: What do I have to change? What could I do differently? What do I need to learn from this? Things can be very different.
That is often the problem , you have to do something and because of the way our brains and our habitual thinking works we will tend to do what we have always done. getting off this auto-pilot response can give you great power in your life and much more success and emotional happiness.
It does mean that you also have to accept personal responsibility for your own emotional world, the up side of this is that you will have less hassle and emotional pain people will upset you less, because you realise that it is your response that caused the glitch, not what they said or did.